TAKE SPACE: What Happens When We Stop Shrinking Ourselves?

For a long time, I thought that fitting in meant making myself smaller.

Not necessarily in an obvious way. Nobody was standing in front of me telling me to shrink. It was much more subtle than that. I learned to read the room, to notice what was acceptable and what perhaps felt like “too much.” Too loud. Too ambitious. Too emotional. Too independent. Too visible.

So, like many of us do, I adjusted.

I learned to hold back my ideas and, sometimes, to put other people's needs ahead of my own. Over time, these adjustments can become so familiar that we don't even realise we're making them anymore. We simply become very good at fitting ourselves into whatever space is available.

But there comes a point when you start wondering: What happens when the space you've created for yourself has become too small?

And this is one of the things I love most about yoga. It gives us an opportunity to notice.

Not to judge ourselves. Not to fix ourselves. Not to become a better or more impressive version of ourselves. Simply to observe what is happening, both in the body and in the mind.

When we move into a pose that feels uncomfortable, what happens? Do we immediately want to escape? Do we push harder because we think we should be able to do more? Do we look at the person next to us and compare our body to theirs? Do we hold our breath without even noticing?

Or can we simply observe?

That awareness is one of the most powerful parts of the practice.

Because sometimes the way we respond to a yoga pose is remarkably similar to the way we respond to life.

The body tells us more than we realise

Think about what happens to your body when you feel uncertain, uncomfortable or afraid. You might round your shoulders, collapse your chest, hold your breath or make yourself physically smaller without even thinking about it.

Now imagine doing the opposite.

Stand with your feet grounded beneath you. Open your chest. Let your shoulders soften away from your ears. Extend your arms. Take a full breath and allow your body to occupy the space around you.

Nothing outside of you has changed, yet your experience of yourself has.

This is one of the reasons I find the physical practice of yoga so fascinating. The body becomes a kind of mirror. It gives us information about ourselves that we may not always notice in our everyday lives.

When we create space in the body, we can begin to explore what it feels like to create space in the mind as well.

Not because a yoga pose is going to magically solve our problems, but because awareness gives us a choice.

We can begin to notice where we contract, where we hold back and where we automatically make ourselves smaller.

And once we see it, we have the possibility of doing something different.

Where are you making yourself smaller?

I have started asking myself this question more often: Where am I shrinking and why?

Where am I staying quiet because I'm afraid of being judged? Where am I saying, “It's fine,” when actually it isn't? Where am I choosing what is comfortable for everyone else instead of acknowledging what is true for me?

And perhaps the most uncomfortable question of all is: Who would I be if I stopped trying so hard to fit into spaces that were never really meant for me?

There is a difference between fitting in and belonging.

Fitting in asks us to change ourselves so that we can be accepted. Belonging allows us to arrive as we are.

That doesn't mean that we never compromise, listen, grow or consider other people. Of course we do. We are human beings, and our lives are built through relationships with one another.

But there is a difference between adapting because we are choosing to and constantly editing ourselves because we are afraid that who we really are will be too much.

Taking up space isn't about being bigger than anyone else

When I talk about taking up space, I don't mean becoming the loudest person in the room or making sure everyone notices you. I don't mean believing that your needs are more important than somebody else's.

Taking up space is much simpler than that.

It means allowing yourself to exist fully.

It means allowing yourself to have needs, desires, boundaries, opinions and dreams. It means giving yourself permission to be visible, to speak when you have something to say, to be quiet when you don't, and to change your mind when something no longer feels right.

It means allowing yourself to be imperfect without feeling that you have to apologise for your humanity.

And sometimes, taking up space simply means breathing fully.

There is something incredibly powerful about the physical shapes we create on a yoga mat. In Warrior II, Goddess Pose or a wide-legged forward fold, the body expands outward. The feet become grounded. The arms reach away from the centre. The chest opens.

For a few moments, you aren't trying to disappear.

You're simply there.

Breathing.

Taking up your space.

And perhaps that physical experience can remind us of something we've forgotten in other areas of our lives.

What about your light?

We often hear the phrase, “shine your light,” and sometimes I wonder if we've made it more complicated than it needs to be.

Maybe we don't actually need to create our light.

Maybe it's already there.

Maybe what we are really being asked to do is remove some of the things we've placed over it: fear, comparison, self-doubt, old expectations, other people's opinions and the belief that we need permission before we can be fully ourselves.

Yoga doesn't tell us who we should become. At its best, it gives us a place to become quiet enough to notice who we already are.

Sometimes that awareness comes through the body. Sometimes it comes through the breath.

I'm tired.

I need to rest.

This doesn't feel right anymore.

I actually want this.

I'm afraid.

I'm ready.

These moments of awareness are not failures of the practice. They are the practice.

Because the goal isn't to silence the mind or become perfectly calm and flexible. The practice is learning to listen without immediately reacting.

And the more we listen, the more we begin to recognise the difference between the voice of our conditioning and the quieter voice of our own truth.

Maybe you don't need to become someone else

The photo I took today for this blog, was taken during one of those moments where the physical shape of the body became a metaphor for something much bigger.

The legs reaching outward. The arms extending. The body open and grounded at the same time.

It made me think about how often we spend our lives trying to fit ourselves into shapes that were never designed for us.

We try to become smaller so that someone else is comfortable.

We try to become quieter so that we aren't judged.

We try to become different so that we are accepted.

And perhaps there comes a moment when the work is no longer about changing ourselves.

Perhaps the work is about coming home to ourselves.

Yoga has taught me that expansion and surrender can exist together. We can take up space and still be humble. We can be strong without becoming hard. We can open our hearts without giving everyone access to them. We can know our worth without needing to prove it.

And we can shine without taking anything away from anyone else.

So the next time you step onto your mat, I invite you to notice something very simple.

Notice how much space you allow your body to occupy.

Notice what happens when you open your chest and extend your arms.

Notice your breath.

Notice the thoughts that arise when you feel strong, visible or vulnerable.

And then ask yourself, gently:

Where am I shrinking in my life?

You don't need to find an answer immediately. Just notice.

Then ask: What would it feel like to take up a little more space?

Not someone else's space. Not more space than you deserve.

Your space.

Perhaps that is where the practice begins.

Not in becoming louder, stronger or more impressive, but in becoming more fully yourself.

You don't have to earn the right to take up space. You don't have to become someone else before you're allowed to shine.

You are already here.

So breathe into the space around you.

Let yourself expand.

And take your space.

It’s not too late. It’s your time.

Empower your journey through yoga and mindfulness.

CONTACT

hello(at)youatnextlevel.com

© 2026. All rights reserved.

NAVIGATION

Home
About
The Method
Movement
Nourishment
Mindset
Contact